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Saturday, September 16, 2006

Yo Mama

Yo Jesus so fat, they had to anoint him in oil just to get him into the cave.

Yo Jesus so fat, they had to reinforce his cross with re-bar.

Yo' Jesus so fat, a communion cracker has more transfat than a twinkie.

Yo' Jesus so fat, the Romans had to trade in their spears for harpoons.

Yo' Jesus so fat, the last supper was also the first 4th meal.

Yo' Jesus so fat, when he travels back to earth he'll have to buy two seats instead of one.

Yo Jesus so poor, he had to wash dishes after the last supper to pay for his meal.

Yo Jesus so poor, he had to put his cross on layaway.

Yo Jesus so poor, he has to call collect to answer your prayers.

Yo Jesus so poor, his image appeared on the front of a food stamp.

Yo Jesus so skinny, they nailed him to the cross with a thumbtack.

Yo Moses so old, he wrote the ten commandments on his gallstones.

Yo Moses so old, he used his beard to wipe his ass.

Yo Judas so greedy, not only did he betray Jesus for 30 sheckles, he charged pay-per-view for the crucifixion.

Yo Virgin Mary so easy, she got knocked up by God, the Father and the Holy Ghost.

Yo Lot so horny, he had three more daughters.

Yo Mama so old, she's got an autographed copy of the Bible.


At 9/17/2006 11:21 PM, Anonymous James said...

Hmm interesting material.

At 9/18/2006 1:28 PM, Blogger King Aardvark said...

Speaking as a civil engineer, rebar is not a great material for reinforcing timber. Conventionally, steel straps have been used, but modern techniques are moving toward glass or carbon fibre-reinforced polymer sheets epoxied to the surface of the timber.

I can send interested people some links.

Yes, I am a nerd.

At 9/21/2006 2:34 PM, Anonymous Alcari said...

hey aardvark, speaking as another civil engineer i'd have to "STFU"

just kidding.
nice one.

At 10/31/2006 12:49 AM, Blogger Simon said...

This is just plain insulting.

Keep it up.

At 8/01/2008 5:42 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

I look forward to learning about additional religious figures.

At 8/02/2008 4:07 PM, Blogger @lankr1ta said...

Please include other eligions as well, Hinduism could do with a few-


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